One of the more time-consuming – but enjoyable – themes for me to write about is favorite lyrics from a specific artist. And this time I chose to go with my favorite lyricist: Posdnuos of De La Soul. But there aren’t really Posdnuos songs, there are De La Soul songs. So I’m ignoring the lyrical contributions of Dave aka Dove aka Trugoy – the other emcee in that group, because in all honesty, I’ve spent a lot more time thinking about and breaking down Pos’s rhymes. That’s not to say Trugoy’s verses are any less potent, just that Posdnuos delivers his bizness from a place in his heart that appeals to me.

Aside: I once Tweeted something to him and he responded, and that is the highlight of my Twitter using career.

As I was putting this list together, I realized that early De La does not appeal as much to me lyrically as their later stuff. I know for many, the golden era of De La Soul was the Buhloone Mindstate/Stakes is High run, but for me, it extends to the seriously under-appreciated “Art Official Intelligence” and in many respects all the way to “Grind Date” I think as one of the few rap groups to actively aim to grow their emcee personae as they grew older as people, the lines they dropped int heir mid-20s, late-20s and into their 30s got heavier and more meaningful. And the heavy representation of AOI on this list probably has a lot to do with the fact that at the time, Pos was roughly the age I am now and going through similar things in life.

Anyway though, what follows is my ten favorite lines from Posdnuos, with some selection criteria, like they all come from songs that have appeared on De La Soul albums, I’m not including guest verses on other artists albums, not even Prince Paul stuff. Also, even though content, delivery and flow, voice, and sounds and aesthetics all play into what makes me love a line, I’m trying to not include much or any of the actual rhyme sounds, and only leaving it at the specific heart of the line that has caught my attention over and over. If you want to catch any of these lines in context, go listen to the entire song to catch the whole thing.

And…

10. “While you others represent, I present my rep” from Supa Emcees
This was the mid-90s, so seemed like all of hip hop was about representing, whether it was a set, a hood, a city, whatever. Pos subtly laid down the gauntlet by saying the only claim anyone has to the title of “emcee” is their skills, and until that’s proven, your other credentials can be taken off the wall. Moreover, Pos is real good at this, unpacking a word to its different parts and incorporating them all together, for example “it ain’t my fault your ass is on the asphalt” and so on.

9. “My aim’s to freeze you dead center in your tracks with your hands high” from Declaration
This is a favorite at live shows cuz Pos always does the whole thing the same way, and incorporates a coordinated arm movement from the entire crowd. So yeah, that’s fun. But listen to the lyrics son! For someone who always comes across humble and maintains he’s a good but not great rapper, he lets out a little bit of the other side in this song, showing why he truly believes he is better than you. The whole thing is about how he will easily and gladly out-rhyme you, and what?

8. “Don’t come shaking my hand like we peeps/it ain’t beef, but be sure to understand” from All Good
At this point, De La was roughly 5 years since the previous album, and more than a decade on the scene. What was dope about this was they brough Chaka Khan on the track – you know, they were always known for featuring young up-and-comers like Common, Mos, and even Q-Tip back in the day. But they got someone with more old school credentials than themselves, you know, someone who knew exactly what it was like to be this deep in the game and have to deal with fake isht. I feel like this all the time now.

7. “Most crews are post-current, while we’re forever” from Oooh
I know to most folks, this probably seems like a throwaway line. But it’s a bold statement, but more than that – it doesn’t even rhyme with anything, it’s just there like it was something Pos had to say, f-ck a rhyme scheme.

6. “Wanna flip grammar instead of grams, like that’s the only choice they got” from Trying People
Too many De La fans have not heard this song! This is a midcareer (for an emcee) crisis for all to see; this line in particular is kind of the crux of it. A lot of kids these days are putting all their energy into becoming the next big rap star. That’s better than trying to become the next big drug dealer, sure – but it’s not easy or necessarily enjoyable either. Wonder if he had a chance to choose a different career path, if he would have been somethign else? Like a rug cleaner?

5. “A brother be’s a ni–a when he packs it” from Breakadawn
On “Hip Hop Honors” last year, it was revealed that De La’s emcees don’t actually write songs together – they each write their verses separately. It’s weird to me that they fit together so well then.It means they are on a cosmic wavelength that transcends physical proximity.

This was a vaguely autobiographical song from my freshman year of high school, and I remember just being caught in the way the beat actually dictated the pace of the story – like it the music telling its life story, and not the actual men doing the rapping.

4 (tie). “Said we’d be natives to the end, nowadays we don’t even speak” from I Am I Be
4. (tie) “Native Tongues have officially been re-instated” from Stakes is High
So much of their semi-public lives were semi-public to fans who were looking for it. I got a thrill out of hearing him admit defeatedly that the Native Tongues weren’t on the best of terms during Buhloone Mindstate – but even more than that, it was really good to hear him renege on that on Stakes. It was like real life stuff, and I guess my younger self found it really interesting when people who were untouchable to me turned out to be real people.

2. “They were looking for God but found religion instead” from Held Down
This song is another criminally underheard one. It’s 3 straight verses from Pos on here, with a hook done by Cee-Lo. First of all, the music is FILTHY. This is one of the nastiest ass grooves I have heard in 10 years. And when Cee-Lo is singing, it’s almost always good news. (I have never been a fan of his rapping for some reason…)

The vibe alone is actually enough reason to be hitting rewind, but the whole thing is full of gems like “the biggest oppressor can be your own ego” and “everybody playing rebel with no sign of a cause.” So much of their music – but especially Posdnuos’s verses – is about lessons learned; what’s more though, is he doesn’t deliver them as the wise man who’s seen it all – he’s always coming from a place that feels like damn, can you believe this shit is still happening? Nothing’s easy.

1. “Fuck being hard, Posdnuos is complicated” from In the Woods
There’s really nothing else to say.

Also, I know I did twelve and not the customary ten, but there’s no way I can possibly take any of these off. It was hard enough narrowing it down this far. I’ve included the approximate year I first heard the poem and my favorite line from each piece, but these are coming straight from memory – so don’t quote me on them.

12. “Listen Asshole” – Yellow Rage (2000)
It feels like a lifetime ago. When I first moved to DC right after college, I knew close to nobody – and I had no aspirations to take on spoken word as anything more than just something I did at bars every now and then, since I lived right off Black Broadway and there was no shortage of open mics a couple blocks from my apartment. But pretty soon I found myself part of a duo called re: verse, and we were one of three main API spoken word groups out that way. The other two were Feedback (who I’ll talk about later) from New York and Yellow Rage from Philly.

I don’t really know how we all connected, but folks from all three cities met up in 215 to do a little East Coast retreat and this was the first time I hear them do this ridiculous piece. It was like, yo, who’s gonna stop us now?

Favorite Line: I’m gonna fight with alla my might against motherfuckers who think I’m a white…girl. Watch my finger unfurrrrl…”

11. “Remembrance” – Taiyo Na (2000)
On to the aforementioned Feedback Poets. Taiyo was the baby of the bunch – so I was shocked when I saw this like 17 year old kid spit this amazing piece at the Asian American Writer’s Workshop open mic called (re)collection. It was the most succinct and touching rendition of a Japanese American history and future through its literature and music, done in a way that I guess I haven’t seen anyone else even attempt. Mas Yamagata backed him up on the bass.

Favorite Line: This ain’t just some Biz Mark shit; these lips are rocking a lost taiko

10. “The Last Words of a Roach, Underfoot” – El Guante (2009)
Dark Horse entry here. Everyone else on this list is someone I probably first met like – well – a long time ago. But I didn’t have the pleasure of sharing a stage with El Guante until this past year, and I have to say man I was astounded. This piece from the point of view of a cockroach made me feel like I should be writing a lot more.

In the hands of a lesser writer, this concept could have been corny. But he went in on it; honestly, it’s transcendent.

Favorite Line: You say…that life can be something greater than survival, but what could be greater than survival?

9. “Naming & Other Christian Things” – Roger Bonair-Agard (2003)
Roger probably does not know this, but he was the first established poet to actually pay money for my CD. I gladly accepted because ten dollars is ten dollars yo. But I didn’t know that a few years later when he’d be closing out the annual “Voice for the Voiceless” concert, he would unleash this monster of a poem that is about everything more than it is about anything. It was a relentless plea for self that resounded with everyone.

Favorite Line: I cannot summon the sympathy for Mary Magdalene, cannot help her weep tears of distress. Only wish I could retro activate a name change for her.

8. “Sometimes Silence is the Loudest Kind of Noise” – Bassey Ikpi (2000)
The first night I met Bassey in New York, it was a night to remember for many reasons. But the thing about B was that we both wrote from the same place; to me, it didn’t matter her subject matter because every poem she wrote felt like it came from inside of me. She wasn’t just sharing pieces of her soul, but she was identifying pieces of mine.

This piece was around the time when I was clumsily trying to disengage with rhyme schemes in a way that felt natural, and was only marginally successful. Bassey had this piece that all that in a way that was emotional but not burdensome, pleasant but not trite, familiar but not cliche. ANd she lands the piece perfectly in my soft spot.

Favorite Line: Like if you get lost, just stand there until someone finds you, and someone will always look for you, and someone will always miss you.

7. “Chasing Bruce Lee” – Beau Sia (2001)
Someone told me before I saw him do this: “Beau has a new piece about Bruce Lee” and so, I guess I expected some biographical poem with a complete filmography or something, I dunno. So, when he did it, I was so touched – the feeling so familiar. You know, Bruce Lee is the idealized Asian (American) male by many of us, so by definition there was plenty of admiration to go around.

But Beau cut through that to carve a new definition of himself in that frame. Bruce Lee was all that he was and more, but also less. Those of us who are lucky to stick around will have many more chances than he did to redefine ourselves in concert or in opposition to what the world sees us as. That’s life he’s talking about here.

Favorite Line: I don’t know if I’m strong enough to stamp ‘SELF’ on everything in my world.

6. “Acid Trip Tango” – Malaya Arevalo (2000)
There’s no heartbreak poem that breaks a heart as much as this does. Mad hard to find words for this one.

Favorite Line: So close to New Jersey skyscrapers that if I don’t watch my aim, I might just break a window. So close to you that if I don’t watch my hands, I might just break my heart.

5. “Real Karaoke People” – Ed Bok Lee (2002)
Bao had told me about this poem before I saw it, but didn’t tell me the concept or the form. Just that it was one of the five best spoken word pieces he had ever seen in his life. So when Ed showed up once for the open mic before I featured in New York, I was kinda ready for it.

But then I found out I was not at all ready for it. Just talking about karaoke can almsot be a punchline to mainstream America – so why are our families so into it? Ed explores teh delicate beauty of an immigrant singing a song written and originally sung by other people, for other people, ina a place not their home or birthplace, in a language that is their second or third, at a time of night the would normally be sleeping – or working. Is there meaning in that?

How could there not be?

Favorite Line: Real karaoke people know past 4AM, English can be only half a home.

4. “By-Standing: The Beginning of an American Lifetime” – Kelly Zen-Yie Tsai (2009)
I think Kelly had this out on the Youtubes for a while now. But I’ll admit upfront I don’t watch the Youtubes for poetry; I might seek out sports highlights or clips of pandas doing panda things and occasionally a tutorial of how to fix a leaky toilet and such. But I’m not really a Youtubes guy.

So I didn’t actually see this piece until 2009 ECAASU at Rutgers in New Jersey. And even then, it was her produced video version of it that was screening, and not Kelly performing it live – but I still got to give it run on this list for two reasons: 1. This piece was part of Kelly’s performance even if it was pre-recorded; and 2. It’s fukcing amazing. Told in vignettes, the poem laces itself through every fold in your mind until the end, where she lands the piece by pulling it closed. Even thinking back to it as I type, I can feel it’s getting hard to breathe.

Favorite Line: No war.

3. “In Front of the Class” – Bonafide Rojas (2003)
I admit I was a little drunk when I first saw Bonafide do this, but that wasn’t the reason it brought tears to my eyes. many spoken word poets teach, right, you all have seen it. Not everybody is great at it, not everybody likes it, but still most of us do it.

I honestly have never seen Bone teach, so I don’t know how he does, but I have known dude for a decade and I can attest to the fact that there’s nobody I’ve ever met who needs to write poetry as much as he does. And in this piece he lays it all out there. Just phenomenal.

Favorite Line: I want to live. I want to love.

2. “Signs of God” – Ishle Yi Park (2004)
I very distinctly remember the first time I saw Ishle do this piece: it was at Vassar College, and me and Ed Bok Lee and her were doing a little show for like students who were there for a summer session or something. Whatever the reason, Ed, Ishle, and myself were in Poughkeepsie doing a show in the summer. And when Ishle read this piece, I was taken away, I felt like I couldn’t love a poem as much as I loved this one. I think I told her that too.

Then after she released her CD that year or maybe the following, this peice was on it. But this time it had this beautiful Spanish guitar underneath that accentuated the beauty in the accidental, the order of chaos, the idea that there are always more reasons for hope than there are reasons against. Damn.

Favorite Line: I want a chorus of loved ones; I want someone to hold my hand.

1. “Quincy Nguyen” – Bao Phi (2007)
It’s weird that I could work Prince into a list about spoken word isn’t it? But this piece from the homey Bao is just perfect to me. His character uses the music of Prince to convince himself he’s beautiful despite all the evidence to the contrary. And I guess when it comes down to it, it just reminds me of me.

Favorite Line: Prince gave him the power: secret of survival for small boys odd when young yet destined for futuresexy.

By the way, i’m not including like theater or sporting events or dance shows and the like. You know what I’m saying? This is for “concert” or things that are basically like concerts.

10. Koba, 2006
East Meets Words, Cambridge, MA
If I remember correctly, Koba was the first rapper to do a feature set at this open mic series. And it was crazy because he actually rocked it! A bookstore!

More than that, it made me feel like – wait, we can do anything we want here?

9. Brown Star, 2009
East Meets Words, Cambridge, MA
What I like about these brothers is that they don’t come from a slam-influenced world – they both come from theater. Thus, they are not bound by the same theoretical limits many of us (I mean folks roughly my age I guess) impose on ourselves by accident. They had pieces that went like 10 or 15 minutes long, but the great thing about that was it never felt stagnant. No matter how long the pieces were, they were always moving, nothing was accidental or unplanned – it was all paced out perfectly.

Even more, I love seeing performers I haven’t seen before do amazing work. It makes me feel like spoken word is not dying.

8. Beau Sia, 2007
Boston University, Boston, MA
Beau is pretty much always great, but on this evening at BU he was more sharp than I had ever seen him. There was some college student performers that night who were at various levels of proficiency when it came to writing, but Beau took that all in and spit it back out with fire. He’s like a monster that swallows mediocre poetry and returns it as amazing isht.

7. Ishle Yi Park, 2007
East Meets Words, Cambridge, MA
I have seen Ishle turn in her fair share of amazing performances, but I wasn’t fully prepared for what she was bringing that night. I was the host for that evening, and it vaguely reminded me of a feature I did in New York at 13 in like 2001 when she was the host. The amount of living and growing in those intervening years we both had done made it seem like we were completely different people, and I was so touched by her presence, that she was actively moving forward in a way I think I had forgotten how to do.

6. Bao Phi, 2009
Amherst College, Amherst, MA
I’ve known Bao for like 8 or 9 or 10 years and it’s weird that during that time, the following has happened ahow many times: we’re doing a show together, and Bao sheepishly tells the crowd he’s gonna try a new piece that he doesn’t know how he feels about. He might say there are some things he needs to edit, but that he wanted to try it out in front of the crowd. Then he proceeds to unleash the most amazing soul-breaking pulse-stopping piece I’ve heard in a year. What is up with that Bao?

So I choose 2009 as the year this happened, with his “Fuck this War” poem. But it’s happened in the past with “Quincy Nguyen” and “Bread and Glass” and “Race” and “Yellow/Brown Babies for the Revolution” and probably 5 others. Bao Phi is unfuckwitable. Please believe that.

5. I Was Born with Two Tongues, 2003
Hothouse, Chicago, IL
Last Tongues show of all time/first Tongues show of my life. I coulda watched two more hours of this show, but the venue had booked another act afterward, and you know, things are what they are.

4. The Roots, 2000
930 Club, Washington, DC
My first summer after college I was living in DC. The Internet was pretty new (to me) at that time, and so I had bee jumping on spitkicker.com all the time, and saw The Roots were about to swing through my new hometown. When people say you have to see them live to appreciate them, that is no joke. A fight broke out in the front row, and ?uest was leaning out from behind the drumkit to take a look and didn’t lose the beat once. This was also the night I first learned that Black Thought is like a monster whose sole purpose is to rhyme the hell out of a mic until nobody can ever use it again. Those guys are pros.

3. De La Soul, 2005
Paradise Rock Club, Boston, MA
Theresa paid for my ticket as a gift, I think since she had grown up in New York, she had gotten to see De La before, so I was lucky to be able to catch them. Even though those dudes were a lot closer to 40 than 20 at the time, they still knew how to rock it.

The one awkward moment was that a bookish girl standing next to me was dancing the whole night, but her dancing looked kinda like running in place. I think she had fun though. That’s the thing about De La – their fans even include nerds like me and bookish girls who run in place.

2. Kiwi, 2008
Pomona College, CA
Me and Kiwi and Bao set ourselves up as a bill in 2008 – trying to get schools to hire three seasoned API performers who wanted to perform together. The trouble was, almost every show there was some issue with sound or venue that made it near impossible for Kiwi to put on a perfect set. It’s easier for Bao & me because we’re just poets, but a rapper needs the right confluence of factors, and the right attitude and mindset on the part of organizers to make for a set that they’ll be happy with.

I’ve seen the homie struggle thru wack mics and bad sound techs, but this was the night it was all there. At Pomona College, the lighting was beautiful and the sound was amazing. Combine that with an enthusiastic crowd, and Kiwi’s set was effing MAGIC. This is what it means when an emcee needs just one mic to rock a crowd. I have never seen another performer truly connect with a crowd like Kiwizzo did that night…

1. Prince, 2004
TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, MA
…except once.

Is it possible that Prince is not a real person, but actually a figment of my magnificent imagination? Is it possible a human being could be this phenomenally talented?

By the way, I don’t watch much TV except sports, so…uh…take that for what it’s worth.

7. Cog
Honda, 2003

What??

6. Pony
Ally Bank, 2009
This brown-haired girl gives awesome facial expressions – at :03 when she is overjoyed at getting a toy pony, and even more delicious is the glare as she cocks her head to side to let him know he needs to stop messing around.

5.There Can Only Be One
NBA, 2008
I thought the split screen commercials were kind of annoying throughout the playoffs that year, but I didn’t know they were leading up to this one. It almost makes me want to cry. It even makes me kinda like Kobe.

4. Touch
Skittles, 2007
Hilariously depressing. The soliloquy is kinda overwrought and played-out before it begins, but dude’s anguish really makes this joint.

3. I Remember
NBA, 2007
I think this was a Boston only commercial, but they played it throughout the season when the Celtics won the title. It’s a little false because we had been hearing KG rumors for a while, so nobody was struck with this kind of surprise. The elation, however. is about spot-on.

2. Big Buddy
SportsCenter, 2003?
Not sure of the year, it feels like it was a long time ago. But I think a lot of SportsCenter commercials have been hilarious, but this one took what could have been a one-note punchline and took it deeper than you could have possibly imagined.

1. Move
Nike , 2002
This is not about sport as spectator but sport as life.

Nike is fairly evil – even for a multi-national corporation – but regardless, this commercial makes you forget all of that for its duration.

9. Sam’s Town, The Killers (2006)
After I heard “When You Were Young” while playing Rock Band on the XBOX, I was really impressed with the songwriting, so I downloaded the Killers album, not knowing what their music sounded like. But the album was like whooosh! Maybe it’s because I actively avoided radio rock music since I accidentally heard Nickelback and was traumatized. The weird thing was, I read a lot of stuff online about how Sam’s Town was a big letdown after their first album, but for my money, this is the album that defines their sound. Their musical execution in the studio is phenomenal, the guitar solos are lyrical, and the songwriting from beginning to end is as poetic as can be. (I’m of the opinion that rock songs tend to have the worst lyrics of any genre.)

Anyway, I know I’m a nerd. So what.

8. Greatest Hits, Foundation Movement (2006)
I used to see these brothers like every other week, but I guess it’s normal that as you get older and stuff, you tend to lose touch with folks here and there. Regardless, there’s no way I could forget to put one of the finest hip hop acts to ever come out of Boston on my decade-end list. Speaking of Boston hip hop, Edo G guested on “Movement” with an inspired verse that makes me nostalgic even now three years later – and he’s just one of several high-profile collaborators on here. I think the fact that world famous cats were itching to jump on a track with FM reminds us that sometimes the best stuff in the world is being made right next door. Don’t stop checking for it.

7. Supreme Clientele, Ghostface Killah (2000)
This was released almost exactly ten years ago, but it still looms large in my memory. I think Ghost kinda defined the split that was gonna play itself out in hip hop music over the next several. The first song on the disc – the bugged out “Nutmeg” – was the first I can remember to force a listener to understand its concept primarily from elements other than its lyrics. Ghost had always done a little roundabout stuff in his songs, but it was consistent throughout this entire album, and he went on the show it would be consistent for the rest of his career, pitting him in sharp contrast to rappers like Plies or MIMS or the Ying Yang Twinz who made songs that had no real meaning at all.

Something about Ghost’s raps on this album reminds me of ziti.

6. Blue Scholars, Blue Scholars (2004)
I first met Geologic in like 2000 or so, when he wasn’t yet a world-famous rapper. We were both doing a little writing workshop with the homie Jojo Gaon working in a high school in Seattle. Afterward, the cats brought me to see Bruce Lee’s grave, and I think we probably ate pho somewhere. Anyway, I had no idea he was also honing his craft as an emcee, and would deliver some of the most meaningful and memorable verses of the new millennium in the space of a few years.

Sometimes the 1 MC + 1 DJ formula works out perfectly – and Sabzi and Geo might be the most perfectly-matched pair since Pete Rock and CL Smooth.

5. Exact Change, Bambu (2008)
I guess there is such a thing as a flawless album. Bam does everything right on this. Each flow is perfectly matched to each beat, and each concept is straight from the heart. This release started to really push dude into the limelight, and he deserves it as much as anyone. Keep watching…

4. The Black Album, Jay-Z (2003)
I was a Jay fan in the mid-90s, then got kinda tired of him in the late-90s. After I had stopped paying attention, he slowly took over the world and became, you know, what he is. By the time The Black Album came out, it was impossible to not be paying attention. I know many folks are kinda whatever about him, but I was so impressed with how versatile his flow had become since I last cared. Some of the beats were a little over the top, but I don’t think anyone had ever made such an aggressive grab at the “Greatest Rapper Alive” trophy for all the world to see. Gutsy.

3. Writes of Passage: Portraits of a Son Rising, Kiwi (2003)
I first heard this album from the homie Tony Nguyen (aka Papa T aka DJ T. Oh-no!) and I’m trying to think back if I’ve ever heard a song that affected me so strongly and immediately as “Imagine” did. But more than that, the album has a consistent voice throughout, like he’e really talking to you the whole way. At this time, I had yet to meet the brother, so when finally we did link up, I swear I felt I knew him.

There’s been a lot of dope independent hip hop from API artists – shoot, just check out this list – but in my mind, this will always be the standard.

2. Kamaal/The Abstract, Q-Tip (2009, but originally leaked in 2001)
I had no idea – no idea – that Tip was capable of doing anything like this when I first heard it. I admit that I always kinda thought he was overrated and that Phife was underrated when it came to Tribe – but I didn’t know that he was actually the musical mastermind behind all their work – and so if I had any clue, I wouldn’t have been so surprised by this joint. Anyway, the point is, this album was way ahead of its time and was way farther outside the box than The Love Below from Andre 3000, which got all the mainstream attention as the most creative hip hop album in years. Gotta respect the brother’s artistry.

Sadly, its official release was delayed until 2009 (see: Record Industry Rule #4080), and I wonder if it had come out on schedule, how much more dope and hoenstly experimental music would be right now.

1. Be, Common (2005)
There is one major drawback on this album: Kanye’s voice. I wish someone would go through this album and edit him out Jar Jar Binks style.

Despite that, I probably listened to this CD more than any other in the last ten years because the lyrics and grooves are so on point. Of course, I was a Common fan from the beginning, and most impressive about Be was that he grew up in front of our eyes from album to album. here’s no way the Common of Can I Borrow a Dollar? could have made this masterpiece – but there’s no way he could have gotten to that level if he hadn’t started where he did.

That’s the lesson. Just because we present ourselves to the world at one stage in our life, doesn’t mean we stay in that stage forever. The world still turns.

OK, my top ten movies of the Zeroes.

10. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
My wife and I thought this was a kids movie when we snuck in. I guess we are idiots because it is not at all apprpriate for children. But it is an amazing flick. Taking place after the Spanish Civil War, a girl escapes her fascist – in multiple ways – stepfather by imagining (?) a fantasy world in which she is actually a long lost princess who will eventually be reunited with her parents – king and queen of the underworld.

All children create alternate realities to some extent, and dwell in them for various amounts of time, depending on how emotionally healthy they are. This film is heartbreaking because Ofelia is forced to live most of her day in her fantasy world because the reality of her life is so rough. Her stepfather eventually kills her before he’s assassinated by rebels in bittersweet justice. And of course, the special effects are crazy ass.

9. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
After seeing this flick, I went to the bookstore to read the short story it’s based on and was shocked to finish it in about 15 minutes. To actually read the source material makes it all the more impressive that such well developed characters and such an emotionally-affecting story was built off a short story of about 30 pages. But most of all, the movie is made by Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger’s performances. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two characters in an American movie more convincingly in love.

8. My Sassy Girl (2001)
My favorite thing about this movie is that it is based on a true story. I know, right?

Of course Ji-hyun Jun (aka Gianna Jun?) is the undisputed star, but I feel Tae-hyun Cha actually holds his own. If you haven’t seen it, don’t watch it without your ride-or-die, because even though the premise – silly dude meets drunk girl on subway, she subsequently ruins his life as they fall in love – sounds kinda throwaway, it really helps remind a viewer what it means to be in love. Korean movies have a weird penchant for being mad deep even when they don’t seem it; it’s the han.

7. Synecdoche, New York (2008)
I don’t know if I’ll ever see another movie that does this to me. I can’t say I liked it in the traditional sense of liking stuff, but I loved how sad it made me. Does that sounds weird?

6. Oldboy (2003)
If ever there was a movie for aspiring Buddhists, this is the one – forget that Brad Pitt joint. Every single character is proof that life is suffering, and that the only way to achieve enlightenment is to accept that fact. The dude who played the lead character – Min-sik Choi – probably gives one of the 5 greatest performances in the history of film. Yeah, I said it. You wanna fight about it? Speaking of fight, the fight scenes lack anything resembling excitement or adrenaline, they are all sloggingly disastrous. The whole thing is a collection of sadness and hurt…just like life I guess.

Most depressing movie evar! (It’s that han yo.)

5. Shaolin Soccer (2001)
I have been a Stephen Chow fan since like the 80s. And he always did creative isht in his movies, and he always blended genres, and he always knew how to make a moderately funny line hilarious by inflection. But with this movie he took a huge leap from talented trickster to genre-defining auteur. There’s no going back bro.

4. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party (2005)
The feeling I got from this movie was as genuine as the feeling I got after the best performances of my career. It’s just pure love and admiration between everyone who particiapted in making it happen, and watching it in the movie felt like being there.

It also has one of my favorite lines from any movie ever. When Michel gondry asks Jill Scott if she’s intimidated to go on after Erykah Badu, and Jill smirks and the camera and asks “…have you seen me perform?”

3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
DAMN. Love means mothing if you never understand what life is like without it.

2. In the Mood for Love (2001)
Two of the greatest movie actors of the past 30 years – Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung – are basically the only characters. Their spouses are having an affair, and so they use each other for emotional support – and never anything more than that. It helps us understand that there is no universal blueprint for love.

Sometimes you just want someone to need you.

1. Infernal Affairs (2002)
The American version – “The Departed” – is just about good vs evil and that’s pretty much it. But this movie – and its sequels – are based on the idea that those two don’t exist in polarity, that life is constant struggle to balance good and evil, and that there is no state of being truly one or the other.

Moreover, Tony Leung (once again) and Andy Lau give maybe the best performances of their careers – and that’s saying a lot for both of them. And the main supporting roles – Anthony Wong and Eric Tsang – are filled by amazing Hong Kong character actors.

The scene where Anthony Wong dies – the look on Tony Leung’s face…DAMN. Just. Damn.

In honor of the new NBA season getting underway tonight (!!!), I’m putting up a list of my favorite Celtics players during my lifetime. There’s basically two loose guidelines: 1) I have to like them for what they did for the Celtics – no Gary Payton, no Dominique Wilkins, no Chauncey Billups and the like, and 2) I have to have watched them play, thus no Russell, no Jojo White (my mom’s favorite), no Bob Cousy, etc.

Let’s get it started…

10. Tom Heinsohn
Allow me to start off this list by breaking my own rule. Of course I never saw Tommy play: he retired in 1965, and coached until 1978 – the year I was born. So I’ve known him in my lifetime primarily as a broadcaster. And the great thing about him is that over the years, he’s gotten more and more crotchety and biased. Almost every time a Celtics player get called for a foul, Tommy gets livid and screams about how the refs are terrible. But my favorite is when they look at a replay and see the Celtic in question was undeniably guilty of committing the foul, he’ll usually mutter a retraction under his breath – then talk about how the other team has been doing the same thing all game and never got called for it.

9. Dee Brown
A Celtic won the slam dunk contest! Throughout the 80s, the Celtics were known throughout the land as the blue-collar, not very athletic NBA team. So when Dee won the slam dunk contest when I was in middle school – woooooooo! It wasn’t just the dunking ability, but it was mostly the flair. The blindfold dunk and the little act of pumping up his sneakers before every attempt! I waited in line for 2 hours at the Cambridgeside Galleria to get his autograph on a mini Celtics basketball. Uh. I lost it. Still though, he had a nice career in the NBA, so I’ll have a special place in my memory for him.

8. Kevin Garnett
He’s only been here two years, and he’s in the top 10 Celtics players of my lifetime? ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE!!!

7. Larry Bird
If he had played for any other team, he’d be up there with Laimbeer and Rambis as my least favorite player ever, But because he played for my hometown, he’s Top 10. That’s life.

Anyway, more than his shooting touch, his clutchness, his tenacity or his ability to think several steps ahead of opponents – I loved Larry Bird’s big fat mouth. He talked so much isht to so many people, he was like the original Kanye West. Everyone knows at the 3 point contest he walked in the locker room and asked out loud “Which one of you assholes is coming in second?” then went out and won without taking off his jacket. (Loved the finger he kept in the air as the last ball swished through the hoop.) Holla.

6. Kevin Gamble
Gamble came to the Celtics as a roster replacement when Bird got injured. He never should have stayed – he was basically a nobody on a team of stars. But he must have showed something in practice, because he stuck around for six more seasons, eventually becoming one of the go-to guys on offense. He had a sweet badasssss stroke, and was consistent as all hell. He also just looked like a dude who after retiring would own an Athlete’s Foot store and a real estate development company – which, according to Wikipedia, he currently does.

5. Paul Pierce
Anyone who’s ever met him around town knows he is a pretty big asshole. That’s OK, because I’m not trying to be his friend. Every fan has a soft spot for a player who grows up in front of their eyes – it means more to me because P-squared is roughly my age (he’s a year older). We always knew he was a top-level player, which is mad impressive because he’s not particularly fast, or muscular, or athletic – so no wonder fans outside Boston didn’t realize how good he has been. But his two qualities that make him what he is are great hands and body control.

I hope he finishes his career here.

4. Robert Parish
I feel like by the time I started paying attention to the Celtics, Parish was already 50 years old. He had arthritis so he couldn’t make a closed fist, and he was unshakable, yet he still punched Bill Laimbeer in the face 3 times! I know this is not his proudest basketball moment, but it’s my favorite Robert Parish memory.

3. Danny Ainge
When I was a kid, Danny Ainge was my favorite player. He was scrappy and of all teh starters, he got the least shine. He also threw elbows and slapped at hands and complained loudly and drained open shots when his teammates were doubled. He also played pro baseball and started a hat company. Yeah.

But more than that, he’s partly responsible for assembling the current Celtics roster and serving as the most concrete link between Celtics generations. Even when the Celts were suffering through a historically bad season, I had faith in my man – because he was looking for the right mix of vets and younguns to compete. And you know, he finally got it.

2. Eddie House
Eddie House is Danny Ainge 2.0. He does all the things Danny Ainge did, except he comes off the bench to do them. I think it should be a team rule that he gives all post-game interviews too, so he can talk about what happens when you “bust somebody’s ass.”

1. Reggie Lewis
I loved watching him play. he was the perfect representative of the future of the Celtics who were leaving the 80s – you know, moving on from Bird, McHale, Parish, and the like, but still trying to stay competitive in the age of more athletic players and more graceful game play. Reggie Lewis had the work ethic to fit in with the 80s guys, but the moves to fit in with what the game was becoming in the 90s.

When he died, I was in high school. I had been watching him for almost all my basketball-watching life – and he was my favorite player. It affected me – not in an idol worship kind of way, but because I guess I had always thought of pro athletes as invincible. Like they live forever, or at least they got to leave the game on their own terms. But Reggie just…disappeared from this earth. Like one day he was at practice, and the next day he was gone. (This is the part where sports teaches me a lesson.)

The newspaper did a tribute section to him, and I Scotch taped his smiling black-and-white portrait on my wall. I spent a lot of time looking at the photo and wondering what might have been going through his head on the day it was taken, far away from the court and fans and the hype. It helped me develop an awareness that players are people with their own lives and priorities, that probably don’t include basketball. They have families, flaws, just like everyone.

And larger than that, I think I try to keep that same attitude throughout life. I try to remember that everyone stars in his or her own story, but that the way I see you – isn’t the way you see yourself. It probably isn’t the way anyone else sees you either.

I ended up taking every picture and poster of celebrities and athletes down off my wall because I realized I didn’t know what they were doing there in the first place.

All this to say, when the Celtics play the Cavs tonight, I’ll be pulling for my team. And I will every night they play. But I don’t live or die with them. There are plenty of things in the world and in my life that deserve my attention, and I hope that when I grow up, I’ll know how to deal with all of them.

Yes again. Last week, I blogged about some of my favorite lyrics from Killers songs – and it made me feel guilty that I didn’t do it for Prince first.

It’s a lot harder with prince though, because the Killers have 3 albums and a collection of B-sides. Prince has at least, I dunno, 25 albums. In addition, Prince sometimes writes amazing lyrics and sometimes seems to not spend any time thinking about lyrics at all (My name is Prince! And I am funky!) – and even in songs with blah lyrics, the music can still make it amazing. So after much some thought, here are my top 10 favorite lines from Prince songs as of today.

Tomorrow, it could change. (As usual, scroll to the bottom for the imeem playlist.)

10. “Her favorite number was 20 every single day.” from Starfish & Coffee
This is a dark horse entry. There’s nothing remarkable about this line, except its context. In this song about Cynthia Rose, a little girl who has an active imagination, this detail about her personality grounds her in real life even though the song dwells almost exclusively in fantasy. More than anything, I just think it’s cute for a kid to have a favorite number of 20.

9. “I just want your extra time and your kiss.” from Kiss
The funk guitar on this jam makes it. But this refrain takes it over the top. The pause before the last word makes a simple kiss like the hottest thing in the world. Like the guitar says everything the lyrics don’t. Fire.

8. “I would die for you, darling, if you want me to.” from I Would Die 4 U
As with many Prince jams, this might be about God or love. It really doesn’t matter. It’s such an emotionally raw line to base a pop song around. There’s an extended version of this song that I caught wind of once – maybe it was released in Europe or something? – that takes the realness to another place with the entire band chanting “I would die for you” for several minutes before the song starts.

He balances the ultimate sacrifice – death – with the least weighty motivation – want, not need, desire, or even ask.

7. “They don’t care where they kick, just as long as they hurt you.” from Thieves in the Temple
Again with the imagery that is related to romantic relationships as much as religion. But the idea is so familiar and so sad. It is one of the first lines of the song and sets a mood – even when the beat drops in – of bare sadness and hurt.

6. “I just can’t stop writing songs about you; I love you so much.” from Call My Name
Prince is an anomaly in that he has consistently made good-ass music from the first song he recorded until now. There’s never really been a decline in quality – only motivation. So when his stuff has been less than stellar, you can’t help but notice how good it still is. Anyway, this song came off 3121, which was released in 2006 – almost 30 years after his first album dropped. And this line still caught me off-guard. There’s really no higher praise from a songwriter than what he says here.

5. “Money don’t matter tonight; it sure didn’t matter yesterday.” from Money Don’t Matter 2 Nite
I love when songwriters do this, make a straightforward point to begin with – then give it additional context afterward. I feel like talking about yesterday rather than, say, tomorrow, gives a history to the narrator of the stories of the song. Why didn’t it matter yesterday, and we can assume, the day before that and the day before that? He creates a frame to imagine backgrounds with just one sentence.

4. “Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999.” from 1999
It’s been around so long that it’s almost played out. But come on, it was released in 1982. He was already talking about the millennium. Come on yo, who else did that?

3. “If I was your girlfriend would you remember to tell me all the things you forgot when I was your man?” from If I Was Your Girlfriend
There’s this weird thing that some Prince-haters do where they call his gender and sexual orientation into question when they want to take him down a notch. But who cares? My love of his music is not based on my admiration of his heterosexuality. But one of the great qualities of Prince as an icon is that he really messed with the lines we artificially create between races, genders, and every other classification for our own convenience. (He addresses this on “Controversy.”) He does this to himself here, basically thinking how much more hot it would be if he was a woman and could have a different kind of relationship with the woman he’s singing to. Really just. Genius.

2. “All I ever wanted to do – I wanna be your lover.” from I Wanna Be Your Lover
I know, I know. The cleverness in this song is the brazen sexual come-ons (“I wanna be the only one who makes you come…running”), but I love this line because it turns the whole thing from just a sex song to a love song. There’s a switch in the middle of the line from “do” to “be” – signifying the difference between action and identity. The way he wails “dooooo” – then hesitates and gets all shy before he softly sings “lover” further underscores how of-the-moment the first part is, and how of-the-spirit the second part is. He shows us how easy it is to wanna get intimate…and how much more daunting it is to love someone intimately. Damn Prince. DAMN.

1. “I guess I shoulda known by the way you parked your car sideways: it wouldn’t last.” from Little Red Corvette
I’m pretty sure this is the greatest first line of any song I’ve ever heard. What could basically be another sex song (come on, you didn’t know what he meant by little red Corvette?) is set up by this first line to really be a song about heartache. One of the few times the narrative in a Prince song is about wanting to slow down.

Moreover, he doesn’t start by saying “I knew…” he says “I guess I shoulda known…” – it just reminds me so much of what it’s like to feel that uncertainty in retrospect. Oh dude you are tearing my heart out.

Top 10 Favorite Lines from Prince Songs

A while back, wifey and I (BTW, can you call someone wifey after you’re actually married?) went to see The Killers in concert. It’s the first rock show I’ve ever been to, and after – I dunno – 15 years of going to almost nothing but hip hop shows and one Prince concert, I didn’t know what to expect.

First of all, I was surprised that the crowd did not look significantly different from the crowd at a Celtics game, except even fewer people of color. But I expected a bunch of tight-jeaned dudes with like dyed bangs; it was all dudes in cargo shorts who look like they probably throw their fists in the air and scream woooooooo! about twice a week. And then a bunch of uncomfortable middle-schooler/well-meaning parent duos.

Regardless, the buzz leaving the Garden was that the show was amazing. But to me it was just kinda alright. It felt far too overproduced for my tastes, it felt like I just watched “The Killers: Live in Concert” on TV, except the TV was 600 feet away, I had to periodically move from behind the person in front of me to see it, and it costed way too much goddamn money.

But I think rock shows must generally be like that. They just aren’t up there in terms of energy like hip hop shows are. And the truth is that my favorite thing about that band is their song-writing. They don’t do much vocally or instrumentally that I was really itching to see done live. In that sense, the Killers are a studio band through and through, but in a really good way.

All this to say that there’s a reason I’m not just doing a list of my favorite 10 Killers songs. (Another day perhaps.) What I’m doing below is a list of my ten favorite lines from Killers songs – because more than any radio rock band I can think of, their lyrics are complex and they matter. BTW, if you read the whole thing, you can find an imeem playlist at the bottom of this post.

So without further ado…

10. “Are we human or are we dancer?” from Human
What an awesome concept. I’m more than a little surprised that so many people – fans, bloggers, and journalists – didn’t understand it. Maybe we need to re-emphasize art in schools, because if a mildly abstract pop song lyric causes so much consternation, then something is wrong with the way we think about creativity in our society.

9. “I know that I can make it, as long as somebody takes me home – every now and then.” from Sam’s Town
This is one of many times that Brandon Flowers extends the line past the line cleverly. It sounds like the line will end “home,” which gives it a meaning on its own, that he needs help for some of the most basic tasks in life. But then by adding “every now and then” – it changes from having a designated driver to having someone he can get intimate with from time to time. From a call for friendship to a call for just wanting to be wanted at all.

8. “How do you know that you’re right if you’re not nervous anymore?” from Bling (Confessions of a King)
I don’t think this is one of my favorite songs by these guys, but that line is dope.

7. “We’re burning down the highway skyline on the back of a hurricane…” from When You Were Young
I admit I came to the Killers late. It wasn’t until I had friends over playing “Rock Band” on my 360. I had never even heard this song, but when Eugene got to this line I was super impressed. I mean the whole thing is really well written, but this line illustrates Flowers’s ability as a writer to incorporate abstract images to enhance concrete concepts.

6. “I ain’t in no hurry, you go run and tell your friends I’m losing touch.” from Losing Touch
This sounds like something a rapper would say. Go ahead and talk isht about me. It don’t stop me from being better than you. I love abject cockiness sometimes.

5. “My lips, they don’t kiss – they don’t kiss the way they used to…” from For Reasons Unknown
I believe the best genre of music for complex lyrics is hip hop. After that, classic soul and Motown. Pop rock falls somewhere toward the bottom of the list. But one thing even I believe guitar-driven music can do better than anything else is convey desperation. This is what I’m talking about.

It was weird at the aforementioned concert – the performance of this song was surprisingly lackadaisical, until toward the end they interrupted it with a nonsensical really dorky-sounding spoken word interlude, then when they launched back into the hook, it was so rockin!

4. “Don’t you want to feel my skin on your skin?” from Bones
The influences on this song sound like 80s new wave, 70s country & western, and 60s horn-based funk. It’s seamless – one of the best examples of how good they can be when they aren’t sloppy in their execution. (To witness their sloppy execution, check the second half of Day & Age.) Anyway this line is dope in its sincerity and simplicity.

3. “The decades disappear like sinking ships…” from A Dustland Fairytale
There’s so much embedded in this lyric, how people are imprisoned by time as it passes the same way they are on ships as they fall into the ocean. In context, this simile introduces the narrator’s hesitant religious conversion (from Catholic to Mormon I think?) – who would think that would be an interesting subject for a song? Wicked.

2. “I’m so much older than I can take.” from All These Things that I’ve Done
The assonance between “so” and “old” echoes the earlier line “You know, you know, no, you don’t, you don’t” – with the oh sound typically representing strong feeling in pop songs. Just extreme,y well-crafted lines with a lot of thought put toward internal rhyme and rhythm. It makes a listener feel good that the songwriter actually cared about how their work could be best received.

1. “The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun…” from Read My Mind
This is my favorite Killers joint hands down. In fact, it’s not just this line, but every piece of this song contains that kind of wonder and amazement at what amounts to a normal everyday life. Lyrically, musically, vocally, they really bring it on this one.

Top 10 Favorite Lines from Killers Songs

I don’t think they ever made nice and got along. (So if it ever comes down to it, know that I ride or die with Prince.) Nevertheless, I am also a MJ fan, I think I just forgot. It’s only last week that I decided to revisit his music, and it made me wonder why I had been away for so long. It’s honestly harder than I thought it would be to listen to his music – no matter how happy it all sounds, it still feels a little sad.

So, since I recently did a Top 10 Prince list, it’s only right…

One caveat: I’m using any song where Mike sang lead vocals, so that includes songs with the Jackson 5/Jacksons.

In descending order (scroll to the bottom for an imeem.com playlist, if you have an imeem account, you can hear every song.):

10. She’s Out of My Life (1979)
OK, so I’m going to start this list talking about Prince, but I’m not trying to be tacky. I think what always appealed to me about Prince was how nakedly he bared himself in music. Michael felt to me the opposite, that he was an amazing songwriter, but that his songs were not all autobiographies of pieces of his soul. That may be unfair, but that’s how he felt to me.

But this song came early in his solo career, maybe before he became more guarded about his privacy. And the connection between the song and the voice – and the specificity, like saying “2 years” – manifests itself in dude obviously crying at the end, you can hear it as he sings. So…yeah, I always give props to songs that feature crying.

9. Rock With You (1979)
I love the way this joint starts, that little tingly googly sounding note that slithers up and down. Don’t that sound like a musical representation of closing your eyes and throwing your head to the side? And in case you don’t think so, Michael tells you in the first line: girl, close your eyes…

8. Billie Jean (1982)
At the time, I had absolutely no idea that this song was about denying fathering a groupie’s baby. Crazy! How come parents didn’t make a big deal about this? And I didn’t fully grasp the story until probably a couple years ago, because of the multiple meanings of the word “baby.” It’s pretty scandalous!

Even though he was already a star, why do I feel like this was when he started to become Michael Jackson, you know? The vocal style, the fashion sense, and the dance style started to become really specifically him.

7. The Way You Make Me Feel (1987)
I remember watching this video and thinking that girl he was harassing on the street was gorgeous. I also remember thinking he should not be harassing her in the street. I also remember thinking that he was not very threatening, so maybe that was cool.

But that beat was hot, it kept ambling steadily forward as if chased by the vocals. Mad 80s but mad futuristic. I wished I was a grown-up so I could jack Michael’s swagger and kick it to ladies. I had outlandish goals.

6. Remember the Time (1992)
This song is called new jack swing all the time, and I guess that’s technically correct isn’t it? But this isht is inherently Michael. It feels like Teddy Riley channeled Thriller rather than MJ conforming to the trend of the day. At the time it just felt like another “love’s been lost” song – but when I listen to it now, it sounds so incredibly desperate. It sounds like it might be taking place only in his head, that she’s never going to hear this.

5. Thriller (1982)
This scared the isht out of me. I don’t think I appreciated it until I was in high school, when the concept seemed ingenious. Like it’s classic American cliche to take your date to a horror movie so she would jump into your arms. So MJ turned it into, not just a song, but an entire album. You listen to this album, and your date will jump into your arms and whatever else you imagine.

Vincent Price was the creepy dude on in that Brady Bunch Hawaii episodes. And somehow that still worked.

4. All I Do Is Think of You (1975)
I can’t wait to get to school each day and wait for you to pass my way. I heard TROOP’s version before I heard the J5, and most recently I saw the homie Kevin So’s version when he was an innocent teenager who held a mic as if praying.

There’s something about Michael’s voice as a child that is more mature than his voice as an adult. Day and night that’s all I do… If this song was a child, I’d snap a picture of him to show him when he grows up so he could see how precious he once was.

3. Never Can Say Goodbye (1971)
Unnnnnnh! It drops you right in the middle of pain on this one. Starts with that sweet little tune, and then it goes all the sudden into that buildup that starts with “Even though the pain and heartache…” and ends with “always have to say no!” So gangsta. Then it slows down for a little before he’s on his knees screaming “NO!” over and over. Oh my god. He was a baby. How could he muster that?

2. P.Y.T. (1982)
The crazy thing about this song to me is that I don’t think it’s that great written. It’s clearly not one of the best songs he ever wrote. He pulls it off with the performance. He floats in and out of the music, like “Rock With You” after a few vodka-based cocktails. This is as close as Michael ever got to smutty I think, which is to say, not close at all. This is still fine for like 6 year-olds and stuff to get down to.

And it shifts gears via vocals or music seemingly every few seconds. It’s so frantically soothing, it’s just overflowing with schoolboy charm.

1. I Want You Back (1969)
This may be the absolute most perfect pop song ever. I’m guessing Tito and Jermaine didn’t lay down those bass and guitar riffs themselves in the studio, they probably had older dudes handling that business because good lord it bangs. Of course the bassline has gotta be a top 3 of all time, and that little pre-funk funk guitar is so beautifully bright and energetic, you can’t help but throw down that stankface.

And you nerds may or may not have noticed when that drummer comes in after the first verse, it’s like OH! I had forgotten drums existed, but now the world is complete!

Then no question Mike on the lead vocals is just absolutely perfect – and props go to Jermaine for doing that amazing call-and-response with his baby brother, during which Michael falls just short of hitting the right note on his second “BABY!” which works out better than if he had hit it straight on because it is exactly where it needs to be leaving your ear longing for resolution, and then he caps it off with that “OH!” right on target. DAMN.

During this song, there’s nothing wrong in the world.

Rest in peace Michael. You’re out of our lives.

10. The Bridge is Over, Boogie Down Productions
Not to say stuff that everybody already says, but the Youtube era of beef is wack. While it can be entertaining for laughs, in general, I’d rather hear a rapper, you know, RAP. You wanna dis a rival? Do it on a track. KRS-ONE bodied MC Shan on not one but two tracks! (South South Bronx!) Looking back though, you can see it’s kind of a jerk move, and in a way it seems like KRS was making a calculated move to boost his career on the back of a lesser emcee. While that’s not very nice or considerate, you gotta respect the man’s hustle.

I still feel bad for Shan though. His contributions to the game are looked back as the developments that allowed KRS-ONE to become KRS-ONE, and not appreciated for their own merits.

9. Bombs Over Baghdad, Outkast
First of all, why did this song come out ten years ago and it still sounds futuristic? What does that say about us now? You all remember the video for this song? When it came out, Bao pointed out the contrasts in Dre’s and Big Boi’s sections, where Andre’s is very active from the beginning, where he wakes up in all these bright colors and starts running, and all these kids start running after him – Big Boi’s is kinda the opposite, its like he said “No running or kids or colors. I’m gonna climb from this car into a bus filled with girls dancing.” And the director just said OK.

As that contrast in styles became more obvious when they grew older, it made for some really interesting music, until they started to grow too far apart to be considered partners anymore. In recent years, it seems like Andre has gotten over himself and is going back to rhyming, which really is where he belongs. (I admire the experimentation with music and acting, but his best verses as an emcee are among the best verses by anyone ever, whereas the other stuff can be good, but does not bring the funk on a similar level.) I love both of their stuff, but they are even better together.

8. The Hollywood Paradox, The College Boyz
Long story short: In middle school, I began to develop opinions on sociopolitical issues and conditions, and a big part of that was exposure to hip hop artists like Public Enemy, 2Pac, N.W.A., Da Lench Mob, and even 3rd Bass. the College Boyz was another one of them. This song just deals with the idea of how hard it is for a Black artist to make it in an industry that has not treated Black artists well. And the Isley Brothers sample is just…woooo. Weird though that the lead emcee in this group had a solid voice and flow, and real dope content, yet he’s known more as the Black guy in Judd Apatow movies. I guess the lesson in this song is mad true, even for the dude who wrote it. (Yeah, Romany Malco was the dude from the College Boyz.)

BTW, the summer before 9th grade I saw them in concert at City Hall Plaza. That was the year someone pulled a gun and everyone went running – but it wasn’t during the College Boyz set! It was during that pop-rock group Mr. Big!

7. Last Train to Clarksville, The Monkees
What? The Monkees? Yeah whatever I think they’re cool. I know they were put together by a television producer and were really a corporate creation, but 3 of them were talented musicians, and the other was Davy Jones. That combo really did make some ill ass music. This song is from the point of view of an American soldier saying he’s off to Clarksville, from there he’ll be shipped off to the Vietnam war and “I don’t know if I’m ever coming home.” To me, it’s an anti-war song. For a band put together by a corporation, that is a pretty loaded statement. (BTW, the Monkees have a very interesting story, if you think you’re too smart to listen to their music or care about them, then whatever hater.)

6. Midnight Train to Georgia, Gladys Knight & The Pips
Gladys did not write this tune herself, but she may as well have. I know there are several versions of this song by different artists, but I could listen to this one all day. I like when songs can hint at desperation without saying it in so many words. It’s such a beautiful phrase, that she would leave the comfortable life she knows because “I’d rather live in his world, than live without him in mine.”

5. Erotic City, Prince
DAMN. I know Erotic City is not a real place, but Prince makes it sound real. Ha. This song feels like a cousin to “Computer Blue,” kind of like “That’s the Way Love Is” and “I Heard it through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye are cousins. With this song, like with really many or most of Prince’s songs, I can listen and get down and enjoy it, but if I want to, I can also concentrate and pay attention and just question, what made him do ___? Like the multiple voices at different speeds thing? It sounds so right, but…how did he know he should do that? More proof that Prince lives on a different level than the rest of us.

4. Straight Outta Compton, N.W.A.
Growing up out East, I don’t think I’d ever heard of Compton before this. And I feel this is easily Eazy E’s best verse of all time – I know Ice Cube wrote it – and among Cube’s and Ren’s best verses too. I get the feeling they knew they had to come as hard as they could on this track and DAMN they really did. It’s just relentless line after line of descriptions of what they have done and what they are not scared to do. It really makes you feel like they were as real as gangsters come. You know, it really set the tone for their entire careers. Of course, everyone knows now they weren’t really what they said they were, but it doesn’t matter, because they said it with such conviction that as far as we are concerned, that shit was 100% truthful.

3. Georgia on My Mind, Ray Charles
I know most people love Ray Charles, maybe cuz they seen the movie about his life, or maybe just cuz it’s always impressive when blind folks can do stuff that sighted folks assume you need to be able to see to do. I really don’t know, I never saw the movie, so I can’t comment on it. What has always drawn me to Ray Charles is his vocal phrasing. All the soul and emotion comes out in when and how fast or slow he sings each word and syllable. The unexpected pauses, the lurches from low to high and back, from soft to loud and back. Early in his career, he was more traditional in the way he sang, but as he became more established, he just made every song sound like it was in its comfortable imperfect home in his throat. Like if he was singing it, you wouldn’t want it to end.

Of course the historical context of this song at the point in his life that he sang it only adds to its emotional weight.

2. Brooklyn’s Finest, Jay-Z f/Notorious B.I.G.
I admit, I didn’t cop Jay-Z’s 1994 debut album until 1998. I knew of him, but wasn’t really a fan. So I never even heard this song until after Biggie had passed. It’s so ill because you can almost picture them in the studio basically pointing at each other after each verse like, there’s so much energy on the track, it just sounds like two dudes challenging each other to match flows. But years later, I read that Jay recorded his vocals like 2 months after BIG did. WHA?

There’s so much more about the song too, like was BIG actually dissing his own wife with that line about Tupac? And did you all know that Jay removed one of Biggie’s lines, that part when he doesn’t complete his verse and Jay goes “aha,” Biggie actually had said “most hated in California” but Jigga didn’t want anything to do with that beef, so he took it out. Imagine what a different road hip hop would have gone down if that line had stayed in?

1. Crooklyn, Crooklyn Dodgers
Crooklyn Dodgers was that ish man. The beat by Q-Tip was phenomenal. The verses, damn. It even comes from one of Spike Lee’s most personal and thus underappreciated flicks. The return of Special Ed (JT Freeze!). Wooooo. The other two members of the “group” were Buckshot and Masta Ace. All these dues would be legitimate legends if the world was fair, instead they are consistently unappreciated. The way it opened up with Ed’s verse “Panic/ as another manic depressant adolescent stares at death/ now what’s left/ when there ain’t no God, and a whole lotta pride/ there might be a homicide/ so let the drama slide…” DAMN!

This also set the template for the Crooklyn Dodgers 95, you know, with Chubb Rock playing the Special Ed role (beloved veteran who hasn’t been heard from recently), Jeru playing Buckshot (bubbling current emcee with undeniable appeal not wholly accepted by the mainstream), OC playing Masta Ace (a style that can never grow old yet criminally underrated), and Primo doing Q-Tip (legendary producer). But when the recent Crooklyn Dodgers came out with Mos Def, Jean Grae, and Memphis Bleek, and 9th Wonder on the beat, they kinda didn’t get it right. I like them all enough, but the combo didn’t fit the mold laid out by the first two (plus Jean Grae ain’t even from Brooklyn!). A better combo woulda been MC Lyte, Joell Ortiz, and AZ – with Pete Rock on the beat. Oooooh. I have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. (BTW, the Chubb Rock verse in the 95 version is still one of the dopest verses in history.)

When the New Jersey Nets move to Brooklyn in 2011, they should change their name to the Brooklyn Dodgers and use this as their theme song.

In descending order (scroll to the bottom for an imeem.com playlist, if you have an imeem account, you can hear every song.):

10. Musicology (2004)
For a long time, Prince’s main flaw – at least to me – was his misunderstanding of hip hop. Although he rapped in songs dating back to the 1990s, he was pretty terrible at it. This song was like his signal to the world that he was through trying to “get” hip hop, and return to what he knows best, and that’s funk. He namechecks Doug E Fresh, Chuck D and Jam Master Jay, and how they appreciate(d) the real old school like Sly, James Brown, and Earth, Wind & Fire. And that bass groove is so filthy and clean at the same time.

9. Let’s Go Crazy (1984)
I wasn’t gonna put years down, but when I noticed the first two songs on this list were released 20 years apart, I felt like I needed to acknowledge that Prince has been the man for like my entire lifetime. Everything about this song is dope, from the spoken word intro that makes no sense and the organ flourishes, then the drum machine kicks in, then that rockin guitar riff…I could describe the whole song to you, but if you get it, then you get it. And if you don’t, then you are a disgrace.

8. Cream (1991)
This was not among my favorite Prince songs until I saw him in concert a few years ago. You know, I always thought of this song with like backup dancers and him making bedroom eyes at everyone in his vicinity and stuff, but at the show, he sat on a rotating stool alone on stage and accompanied himself on acoustic guitar – and that was it. And the part in the song when he goes “You are fine” – and the audience sang along with him, he stopped and goes “I can tell you really mean that don’t you?” At that point, I felt like the radio dj that Chris Rock plays in the movie “Pootie Tang,” when he starts breaking up his studio and yelling “Pootie too good! Pootie too good!”

To make it even more g, he claims he wrote it front of a mirror, so apparently it’s about himself.

7. Adore (1987)
This is not really one of his most memorable or anthemic songs. “Darling Nikki” almost made it onto this list, but I decided because that song is about resentment and serves to spill dirty secrets, it could stand to count in my Top 20 instead of Top 10, you know? So on the flip, “Adore” is all about love. I think what is so amazing to me about this is that it’s lyrically pretty weak (“heavenly angels crying up above/ tears of joy pouring down on us”) but it’s the vocal delivery that makes it. That dude really sounds in love! And just like real love, it ain’t all serious neither, like when he says he’d forgive her for anything, she could even “smash up my ride…well maybe not the ride.” Ha!

6. How Come U Don’t Call Me Anymore? (1993, but recorded in 1982)
I know Alicia Keys covered this song at Prince’s invitation. (He was upset though that she used a swear word in her version.) I have never heard it. As much as I like Alicia Keys, I really think Prince’s version could not possibly be improved upon. It’s a good example of his versatility, he can do the banging dance stuff and the rock anthem stuff, and the slithery funk stuff, but he can also do stripped-down straight SING stuff. DAMN. I know I’m supposed to be pretty good with words and stuff, but I can’t describe this.

5. Purple Rain (1984)
I surprised myself that this is ranked so low for me. But I think this is the greatest rock anthem in history. I feel like I could write a thesis about this song, but the short version of my theory is that it is his attempt to make real life connections with the people around him the only way he knows how, which is by singing about them. It’s just the only way he knows how to get across a full range of emotion.

When he closed the halftime show at the Super Bowl with this a few years ago, I didn’t watch the rest of the game, because as far as I was concerned, both teams already lost to Prince.

4. Little Red Corvette (1983)
“I guess I shoulda known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn’t last.” Man, tha’ts how you start a song, isn’t it? And the gutteral scream he lets out a little past halfway through, he just uses his voice perfectly here. (I am aware that the closer I get to my favorite Prince song, the more incoherent and fanboy-ish these get. Whatever hater.)

3. Nothing Compares 2 U (1993)
Sinead O’Connor’s version is very good, but as good as it is, it does Not Compare 2 Prince’s version. He wrote this song for the Family in the 80s, O’Connor redid it in 1990, and Prince didn’t release a version of it until the live duet with Rosie Gaines came out in 1993. So even though it was the last one to come out, it is the definitive version for me. Kinda funny, because Rosie is actually the star of the show. Like that part where she gets egged on by Prince: “He said ‘Rosie, try and have fun no matter what you do – [can you tell me why?] – cuz he-e-e-e-e-e’s a fool.” Wooooooooo damn!

2. Beautiful Ones (1984)
Damn! This song starts out with that mellifluous falsetto he uses so well, but by the end every word he screams is dripping with anguish. I don’t know of any other song that includes such opposite emotions. (“One Mic” by Nas hinted at this kind of contrast, but the gulf between soft and hard in that song doesn’t come close to the one here.) “Do you want him! Or do you want me! Cuz I want you!” DAMN.

1. I Would Die 4 U (1984)
I think this song is perfect.

But with all these things that gnaw at my insides from further inside, I may sound like the biggest hypocrite in the world when I say it’s only entertainment (a la Journey, I mean, Jay-Z), which it is. I tried to quit watching sports in 2004, but it proved to be more addictive than nicotine. I relapsed, and what with my Boston-area teams doing pretty well recently, I don’t really think I’m going to wean myself off watching sports until I’m dead.

But not all is awful. It’s not as though it’s the ugliness that keeps me watching. So without further ado, I present to you my friends, the Top 10 Awesomest Moments in Sports (EVAR!), as compiled by me with absolutely no illusions of historical perspective, regional unbiasedness, or intelligence.

1. Derek Redmond and his dad
A British sprinter who had pulled out of competition during the 1988 Olympics in Seoul because of a hamstring injury, Derek Redmond had a legit shot at a medal in Barcelona, but during the heat that would have put him in the finals – he had a steady lead more than halfway through the 400m – his hammie jumped on him again, and he fell to the ground. His dad jumped out the stands and ran onto the field of play and helped his son up on his one good leg and together they hobbled to the finish line. With all the stories you hear about overbearing parents of athletes, this is one of the stories that gets forgotten.

2. Muhammad Ali gets stripped of his title for refusing to be drafted
As I mentioned earlier, modern-day superstars are too concerned with their endorsement deals to ever take a stand on anything remotely political. So when the biggest public figure in the sports world in 1966 refused to be drafted to fight in the war in Southeast Asia, that shit took huge balls. He didn’t really have to do it either. Because of his celebrity, he would have gotten a non-combat job, maybe one of those morale-boosting jobs like going to talk to “fellow” soldiers to convince them they were fighting for a just cause. But he refused and as a result, lost his title as world champion. And he didn’t complain at all, simply saying “No, I am not going 10,000 miles to help murder kill and burn other people to simply help continue the domination of white slavemasters over dark people the world over. This is the day and age when such evil injustice must come to an end.” The crazy shit is, everybody loves him now, proving that the real world can actually be changed for the better by athletes.

3. Patriots really believe their rhetoric
During the 2001-2002 NFL season, I was living in Washington, DC, so I didn’t get to watch every game my beloved Patriots played that year like I currently do, so the reports that they defined the “team” concept rang kind of empty to me. I mean, I just didn’t know because I didn’t have much opportunity to see them play. But I do remember in the AFC Championship game that year, when newly-arrived star quarterback Tom Brady was mildly injured, has-been Drew Bledsoe – who had lost his starting job to Brady that season – stepped in and led the Pats to victory over Pittsburgh. I remember thinking how nice it was that Bledsoe didn’t complain all year after being the face of the franchise for so long, and when he was needed, he delivered. He even choked up during the post-game on-field interview about being able to contribute at such a meaningful time. So the idea of “team” really meaning “team” started to take hold in my head, but I honestly was not prepared for what happened at Super Bowl XXXVI.

I remember team introductions from when I was a little kid at the Super Bowl was always one player at a time – and not all the players on the team at that – just the selected few. So after the St. Louis Rams introduced their stars one by one, when the announcer said the New England Patriots had chosen “to be introduced as a team,” I literally got chills. The fact that the number 1 guy on the team wasn’t interested in being separated from the number 53 guy on the team was an entirely new concept at the Super Bowl. And of course they won, beating “The Greatest Show On Turf” with a team of no-names (at the time anyway) who had – in most people’s minds – no right to be playing in that game. Now every Super Bowl starts without player introductions, like it’s just a thing to do. But in 2002, that was – for real – unprecedented, unexpected, and awesome because of it.

4. Ira Newble
After reading an article about the genocide in Darfur while on the roadwith his former team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, reserve swingman Ira Newble took it upon himself to learn as much about the situation as he could, even reaching out to leading American academics to get acquainted with their research and analysis. He drafted a letter to the Chinese government, using the upcoming Beijing Olympics as a platform to base his assertion that China and the world should “use all available diplomatic resources and economic pressure to end the agony of Darfur, and to secure access for U.N. peace support personnel.”

In all honesty, I don’t even necessarily agree with this tactic. But I don’t discount it simply because I wouldn’t do it. Every organizer in any situation needs to take into account his or her best chance of making a lasting impact, and I can’t disagree that a professional athlete would use different tactics than me. So he went about getting most of his teammates to sign it – LeBron James, surprise surprise, declined – and has been working with his agent to circulate the letter to all NBA players. Now, he’s not a particularly well-known basketball player, so it’s not like he can just throw some of his name recognition at the issue and see if it sticks, he actually has to put in effort to get something done, and he actually has. I don’t know how successful his campaign is right now, but since this is real life and not sports, we don’t have to judge people only by their success rate – we can actually take their motivation and effort into account. And as far as that’s concerned, Newble is doing what Bron would never do.

5. Toni Smith and Everybody
Manhattanville College women’s basketball captain Toni Smith just said “fuck it” in late 2002 and turned her back to the American flag during the pre-game national anthem. She kept doing it and it kept staying under the radar until March 2003, and then proverbial shit hit the sports fan. National media started to notice, and mad people started criticizing her for using her position as a college athlete (at a Division III school by the way – I mean, have you ever heard of Manhattanville?) to push her political beliefs. Her question was “not why did I choose to turn my back on the flag. It’s why do we have to [salute the flag and stand for the national anthem] at basketball games? If they don’t want politics in sports then they need to take the National Anthem out because that is inherently political.”

Say word Toni. Everyone – including myself – assumed it was a protest against the Iraq War, but in fact she says the Iraq War was basically the straw that blah blahed the camel’s back, and that she was refusing to pay tribute to everything she felt the flag represented, starting with the genocide of Native Peoples. Last I heard, she was still working at New York Youth at Risk.

6. John Carlos and Tommie Smith (and Peter Norman)
This topic is crazy complicated and very interesting, and if you have the time, you should definitely read what you can about the events leading up to it – as well as the events following. But in the interest of brevity, I’ll say that you probably recognize the picture at left, no? Details are as follows: Tommie Smith (gold) and John Carlos (bronze) won medals at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. A group called the Olympic Project for Human Rights (OPHR) tried to organize a boycott by Black athletes because of the mistreatment of Black communities in the United States. The boycott didn’t pan out, but these two cats raised their fists in support of Black Power – and if you notice, are actually wearing gloves that they brought expressly for the purpose of protest.

A much less known detail is that Peter Norman, the silver medalist from Australia who is white (as you can see in the picture), in fact knew they were going to raise their fists and supported the decision. My whole life I assumed he was basically an uninterested party and had no idea what was going on behind him, but in fact they had told him and he was down with it. So down, in fact, that he was also waging protest while receiving his medal by wearing a OPHR button on his track jacket. Norman passed away in 2006, and around that time I read that he had actually stayed in touch with the other two from the other side of the world until he died. I find it admirable that he could have inserted himself into the story by raising a fist as well or making it more known afterward that he supported them, but he let it be their story because he knew it would mean more to more people in the long run. How often in your progressive coalitions does the white dude realize it might not be a bad idea to take up the least space?

7. Jason McElwain scores 20 points in 4 minutes
This isn’t just lip service. Two years ago, the basketball team manager at a high school in upstate New York came in at the end of a game and scored 20 points in four minutes of play. That’s pretty impressive, but what’s really ill about it is that he is autistic. I would link to a Youtube video, but as I’m browsing them I’m shocked to be reading some of the comments calling him “retard” or just being brainlessly insensitive about the kid. What is the point?

But I think that speaks to what’s so transcendent about that moment. I’m not the type of dude to dwell on a “feel-good” story simply because it exists. Those with development conditions, as well as those with physical disabilities or mental illness, are treated as other than human, and I don’t just mean Youtube comments. Think about this one case. Would you ever have suspected that an autistic high school student would have any desire to even play basketball, let alone score 20 points? Most of us would not because it’s a lot easier to think about folks that seem “different” as just that: different. A lot of people just don’t see them as having their own personalities, that their outward condition is what defines them. End of story.

So just as I’m sure young Jason has been called names and worse in his life, and will continue to have to deal with that forever, through a 4 minute stretch playing sports, he got everyone there to feel proud of him, regardless of whether or not they’d even ever met. And he probably put a little shake into everyone who before the game thought he was “the autistic kid” and nothing more.

BTW, although that moment was national news and very touching, I recently came across this article in the New York Times about a varsity basketball player with Down Syndrome. And I know it’s nothing like autism, but I can’t help but be moved when young people surpass expectations like it ain’t nothing to them.

8. Aboutreika Sympathizes with Gaza
As I started drafting this entry, I kept having thoughts about various cool in-game moments that showed us the human sides of athletes, but one very recent moment – that I learned about from Dave Zirin’s “Edge of Sports” website – was maybe bigger than any of them. Egyptian soccer star Mohamed Aboutreika scored a goal in a pan-African tournament, and then lifted up his shirt to reveal the slogan “Sympathize with Gaza.” Forgive my ignorance, because all this info comes straight from Zirin’s article, but apparently Aboutreika is as popular a player as there is in all of Africa. And just trying to imagine a similarly highly-regarded athlete in the States do something like that for the cameras in a major event is unimaginable. He must also have known that making political statements during a game is against FIFA’s rules and was risking suspension, but he spoke his piece anyway.

Surprisingly – oh, I mean, NOT surprisingly – Google Images removed all the photos of this from its search results, so if you were looking to find proof that it happened, you wouldn’t be able to find it very easily. I think it’s great when big-time athletes do community work, which is usually safe, non-controversial stuff. Making a bold political statement that many people – powerful people – disapprove of, then that’s really a different category. (Another person who did this and got almost completely ignored in the press was Steve Nash who opposed the president’s illegal war. Proof once again that people from Canada are usually pretty awesome.)

9. James Posey exists
I only know this because he plays for my favorite team, but Boston Celtics sixth man James Posey stands at mid-court before every game and gives the starting five players a great big bear hug and whispers words of encouragement in their ear. He did this when he played in Miami as well.

OK, so whatever. This only affects 6 people right? But how many people do you know who have a genuine appreciation for the people around them? He isn’t doing this as a co-worker, or teammate, really. He does this as a friend, who is being generous with his support. Of course everybody on the Celtics bench wants the starters to play well, but making time for each individual to give them that extra boost is not what fans have been conditioned to associate with the NBA nowadays. I love trash talking as much as any fan (as long as it’s fun and not distasteful), but I love James Posey’s hugs a little more.

10. Kobe Bryant throws a towel in a poor lady’s face for no reason
This is very clearly unintentional. But damn if it isn’t the funniest thing I’ve seen in years.

OK, so this is not very positive, but i wanted to find a reason to post it up here…