I like pro sports, and the NBA in particular. I am not blind to the way it replicates exploitative systems from larger society – but in the same way we can appreciate a clever political campaign, a day of unexpected beautiful weather, or a well-crafted children’s picture book – so too do I appreciate watching NBA basketball. It is theater for the oppressed. (No Freire)

In honor of the new NBA season getting underway tonight (!!!), I’m putting up a list of my favorite Celtics players during my lifetime. There’s basically two loose guidelines: 1) I have to like them for what they did for the Celtics – no Gary Payton, no Dominique Wilkins, no Chauncey Billups and the like, and 2) I have to have watched them play, thus no Russell, no Jojo White (my mom’s favorite), no Bob Cousy, etc.

Let’s get it started…

10. Tom Heinsohn
Allow me to start off this list by breaking my own rule. Of course I never saw Tommy play: he retired in 1965, and coached until 1978 – the year I was born. So I’ve known him in my lifetime primarily as a broadcaster. And the great thing about him is that over the years, he’s gotten more and more crotchety and biased. Almost every time a Celtics player get called for a foul, Tommy gets livid and screams about how the refs are terrible. But my favorite is when they look at a replay and see the Celtic in question was undeniably guilty of committing the foul, he’ll usually mutter a retraction under his breath – then talk about how the other team has been doing the same thing all game and never got called for it.

9. Dee Brown
A Celtic won the slam dunk contest! Throughout the 80s, the Celtics were known throughout the land as the blue-collar, not very athletic NBA team. So when Dee won the slam dunk contest when I was in middle school – woooooooo! It wasn’t just the dunking ability, but it was mostly the flair. The blindfold dunk and the little act of pumping up his sneakers before every attempt! I waited in line for 2 hours at the Cambridgeside Galleria to get his autograph on a mini Celtics basketball. Uh. I lost it. Still though, he had a nice career in the NBA, so I’ll have a special place in my memory for him.

8. Kevin Garnett
He’s only been here two years, and he’s in the top 10 Celtics players of my lifetime? ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE!!!

7. Larry Bird
If he had played for any other team, he’d be up there with Laimbeer and Rambis as my least favorite player ever, But because he played for my hometown, he’s Top 10. That’s life.

Anyway, more than his shooting touch, his clutchness, his tenacity or his ability to think several steps ahead of opponents – I loved Larry Bird’s big fat mouth. He talked so much isht to so many people, he was like the original Kanye West. Everyone knows at the 3 point contest he walked in the locker room and asked out loud “Which one of you assholes is coming in second?” then went out and won without taking off his jacket. (Loved the finger he kept in the air as the last ball swished through the hoop.) Holla.

6. Kevin Gamble
Gamble came to the Celtics as a roster replacement when Bird got injured. He never should have stayed – he was basically a nobody on a team of stars. But he must have showed something in practice, because he stuck around for six more seasons, eventually becoming one of the go-to guys on offense. He had a sweet badasssss stroke, and was consistent as all hell. He also just looked like a dude who after retiring would own an Athlete’s Foot store and a real estate development company – which, according to Wikipedia, he currently does.

5. Paul Pierce
Anyone who’s ever met him around town knows he is a pretty big asshole. That’s OK, because I’m not trying to be his friend. Every fan has a soft spot for a player who grows up in front of their eyes – it means more to me because P-squared is roughly my age (he’s a year older). We always knew he was a top-level player, which is mad impressive because he’s not particularly fast, or muscular, or athletic – so no wonder fans outside Boston didn’t realize how good he has been. But his two qualities that make him what he is are great hands and body control.

I hope he finishes his career here.

4. Robert Parish
I feel like by the time I started paying attention to the Celtics, Parish was already 50 years old. He had arthritis so he couldn’t make a closed fist, and he was unshakable, yet he still punched Bill Laimbeer in the face 3 times! I know this is not his proudest basketball moment, but it’s my favorite Robert Parish memory.

3. Danny Ainge
When I was a kid, Danny Ainge was my favorite player. He was scrappy and of all teh starters, he got the least shine. He also threw elbows and slapped at hands and complained loudly and drained open shots when his teammates were doubled. He also played pro baseball and started a hat company. Yeah.

But more than that, he’s partly responsible for assembling the current Celtics roster and serving as the most concrete link between Celtics generations. Even when the Celts were suffering through a historically bad season, I had faith in my man – because he was looking for the right mix of vets and younguns to compete. And you know, he finally got it.

2. Eddie House
Eddie House is Danny Ainge 2.0. He does all the things Danny Ainge did, except he comes off the bench to do them. I think it should be a team rule that he gives all post-game interviews too, so he can talk about what happens when you “bust somebody’s ass.”

1. Reggie Lewis
I loved watching him play. he was the perfect representative of the future of the Celtics who were leaving the 80s – you know, moving on from Bird, McHale, Parish, and the like, but still trying to stay competitive in the age of more athletic players and more graceful game play. Reggie Lewis had the work ethic to fit in with the 80s guys, but the moves to fit in with what the game was becoming in the 90s.

When he died, I was in high school. I had been watching him for almost all my basketball-watching life – and he was my favorite player. It affected me – not in an idol worship kind of way, but because I guess I had always thought of pro athletes as invincible. Like they live forever, or at least they got to leave the game on their own terms. But Reggie just…disappeared from this earth. Like one day he was at practice, and the next day he was gone. (This is the part where sports teaches me a lesson.)

The newspaper did a tribute section to him, and I Scotch taped his smiling black-and-white portrait on my wall. I spent a lot of time looking at the photo and wondering what might have been going through his head on the day it was taken, far away from the court and fans and the hype. It helped me develop an awareness that players are people with their own lives and priorities, that probably don’t include basketball. They have families, flaws, just like everyone.

And larger than that, I think I try to keep that same attitude throughout life. I try to remember that everyone stars in his or her own story, but that the way I see you – isn’t the way you see yourself. It probably isn’t the way anyone else sees you either.

I ended up taking every picture and poster of celebrities and athletes down off my wall because I realized I didn’t know what they were doing there in the first place.

All this to say, when the Celtics play the Cavs tonight, I’ll be pulling for my team. And I will every night they play. But I don’t live or die with them. There are plenty of things in the world and in my life that deserve my attention, and I hope that when I grow up, I’ll know how to deal with all of them.

Tags: sports

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